Today I got up at six. It’s still raining this morning.
The book which a man suffered from dementia was shocking for me. Yesterday I met my mother who had dementia in a nursing home. She told she’d like to go home. She lived alone but her room filled with garbage and her doctor forbade her living alone from now on. Now lease contract was canceled.
The author described people with dementia wanted that others listened to their hope. However we ignore her hope. I’m worrying if she feels happy in the nursing home.
Today I got up at quarter past six.
Yesterday I attended a program about dementia for pharmacists. The speaker was the director of a hospital and he spoke the way of reaction to patients’ family. He told it was difficult for the family to accept dementia. The patients got angry and the family implored doctors to prescribe antipsychotics. Antipsychotics are out of the application range of insurance. Pharmacists know its side effects. But we can’t ask doctors anything. The speaker declared we had to ask doctors the reason why they prescribed antipsychotics.
I don’t like my mother to take antipsychotics. However,if I took care of her at home, I would ask a doctor to prescribe it.
Today I got up quarter past six.
I’m thinking about my mother. I still remember beautiful young mother. She was active and always busied herself with work. I depended on her. Now she depends on her daughters. She couldn’t change her dress by herself. Before she went into the hospital, she lived alone and went to the hospital every day. Now she can’t take care of herself at all. Probably her dementia has progressed in the hospital. She is my future. But I don’t have any children to take care of me.
Today I got at quarter past six.
Yesterday my mother left the hospital and entered into the geriatric health services facility. We moved there by taxi. First she was excited which interesting place she would go. However, when she looked fields out of the window, she made a lot of noise. She told us she’d like to go back to the office and go to bed. When we took her to the facility, she asked us if we stayed there together. We replied “no” and left there.
I felt a pang of guilt that we took her there. But she can’t take care of herself any more. We can’t take care of her all day.
Today I got up at six. Anti-histamine makes me sleepy all day.
My mother has dementia. It means her life will end soon. She can still walk but she must be attended by someone. She will become bedridden sooner or later. I have to think how she can have happy days from now on.
Today I got up at six. I started to read “rich dad’s guide to investing”, it is still difficult for me but I feel poor bad is the same as my mother. If she had stopped to waste money and bought real property, she had better life. She wasted several million yen for her clothes and jewelry. She can’t take care of herself now and need someone’s support. If we support her at home, we will have to quit our job and we won’t be able to maintain ourselves any more.
Today I got up at quarter past six.
I had suffered from insomnia before but now I’d like to sleep as long as possible.
I’m thinking about my mother. She has lived alone after my father passed away. She liked to go out and she usually went shopping. She wasted money in clothes, noble metals and so on. She always payed by credit cards but recently she didn’t use them.
Whenever she saw us, she complained to us but I guess she’d like to tell us that she felt lonely.
She was not a good mother for us. We, her children were always angry at selfish mother. But we were selfish too.
I’m planning to go somewhere with my mother and sister soon.
Today I got up at six. Keeping regular hours is good for my health.
I stop worrying future. I think how I realize my dreams. Now I image my mother smiles in future. She is a forthcoming person and she doesn’t like alone. But I and my sister can’t take care of her all day. I think she should live in a nursing house.
I wish we can find a good nursing house for her.
I was thinking about a long life while I saw my mother.
When she went into the hospital, she was anxious of cost. How she told she was tired of hospital and she’d like to go back to her hometown. She doesn’t remember her home. As she always worried about money, she probably feel happier.
She likes expensive clothes. She has bought lots of clothes by credit cards and worried how she could pay debt.
Now she can’t do anything by herself and I and my sister worry how we pay for her nursing care cost.
Today I got up about seven. My body temperature was 37 degrees.
I’m anxious of my mother. I’m looking for a nursing house but first of all, I have to apply her nursing care insurance. Last night I quarreled with my sister about our mother.
She said, “I don’t have enough money!!!”
Do we have to quarrel each other till our mother will pass away?