My father passed away fifteen years ago. He looked at peace on the deathbed and I felt he had happy life. He had dementia and looked he was having a pretty hard time for years.
At the night when he died, I couldn’t get to sleep. I felt he implore me I put his his Buddhist altar in my flat. As I prefer European style, I displayed his pictures instead of it. These pictures were one when he was young.As I was born when he was fifty years old, he looked like my grandfather.
He in the pictures was not handsome but looked full of hope in his life.
I like the pictures. But my mother told they didn’t seem himself and gave them up to me.
In Japan, there is the Doll’s Festival on the third of March every year.
They display the dolls at home and celebrate their girls’ heath and happiness.
I don’t have any children but I like the doll’s festival. The dolls remind me of my childhood.
Today is a calm and warm Sunday. It is good of a walk.
I don’t like my lines on my face. My lines have been increasing and my cheeks have been sinking year after year.
I don’t like to look at myself in a mirror. Myself in the mirror is not the same as my imagination. If I can’t see myself, I might not recognize my real age.
I don’t think my face with lines are beautiful at all. However, do I have to keep my youth? Do I have to hide my age?
Youth is highly thought of others. Old people are not productive, worthless and burdens on others… such negative images frighten my aging.
I’d like to become a calm and mild person. I’d like to help someone else. “My experience of life changed me wonderful”, I’d like to think so at the end of life.
When I was a child, my mother cooked a box lunch for me everyday. My mother was not good at cookie and I didn’t like it. Sometimes I complained of it. At the same time, I appreciated her to myself.
Now I am considering if I have to cook my box lunch but it is hard for me that I get up earlier, cook it and go to work at a quarter past seven…
When I remember that my mother got up early to cook my box lunch for years, I regret why I didn’t say to her “thank you”, instead of complaint.
I had put my job before my life and I had persuaded myself it was natural.
However, with the retirement near at hand, I recognized I didn’t have any good friends to guide me. I am not a person of wide interests, but I like traveling and I am planing to travel all over the world after my retirement.
If I have a voyage around the world, I have to pay a large amount of money for it and it is all but impossible. Gold will not buy everything, but I can’t realize my dreams without money.
When I was young, women had two choice in life, gaining experience or housewife. As I didn’t like to depend on my husband, I continue to work after marriage. I could support myself after my divorce.
I don’t like housework but I feel empty to cook for myself. I’d like to share the joy with someone. When I stay at home on holiday, I don’t speak to anyone all day.
I’m going to become fifty six years old soon. The company hires me after sixty years old but I can’t work hard any more. From now on I’m going to have a wide circle of friends to enjoy my second life. I’d like to travel with saving money.
I’d like to have a sideline if I can.